He Thinks Of Me

I need to take a minute to honor the man to whom I am married.  But first, a little exposition...

I wrote, last week, about the fabulous trip I had planned for tomorrow to Jamaica that fell through at the last minute.  It got cancelled as my husband was in New York, waiting for his flight to come back home.  My parents had just gotten back from Hawaii the day before...All of my loved ones were off doing wonderful and exciting things.  Before the Jamaica trip fell into my lap, I was a bit bummed that I couldn't go to New York with my husband.  We just couldn't make it work so I stayed home with the kids.  But once I found out I was going to be flown to Jamaica, I wasn't all that bummed anymore!  Because I was going to get to go somewhere wonderful and exciting too!!  But still, my husband knew I really wanted to go with him to New York.  So before he left, he hid gifts and prizes and clues throughout the house for me and our two children to look for while he was gone.  There was a clue and a prize for each of us for every day he was gone.  It was incredible.  The kids loved it.  I loved it.  I still can't get over the fact that he thought of something like that.  And that he did it so perfectly.  That's the kind of man I married.  I married a man who thinks of me and does things for me, even when I don't deserve it.

When I called him in New York to tell him about my trip being cancelled, I knew he was upset for me.  He knew how much I needed to get away and how much I had been looking forward to it.  He knew I had been stressed out for the past month and this trip was going to be my big release.  This trip was going to be what turned me back into the happy me I had lost.  He walked in the door that afternoon, after being in an airport for hours, and in a cramped airplane, and stuck in traffic, wanting desperately to get home to his family, with a bottle of my favorite champagne to help make the sadness go away.  He Thought Of Me.  As he unpacked his suitcase upstairs and I sipped on my first (of many) glasses of bubbly, he brought me a bag of gifts that he had bought for me in New York.  He went shopping for me, he bought me clothes.  The clothes fit.  The clothes were beautiful.  He Thought Of Me.

A couple of days later was Mother's Day.  And, even though any other man could have convinced me that he had already done enough to make me feel special that week, he created a whole, relaxing day just for me.  I stayed in bed and he brought me homemade waffles and coffee, he took care of the kids, he cleaned the house, he bought me yet another of my favorite bottles of champagne, he made me a salad to eat in bed for lunch (that he just threw together) and then when I thought I had had enough special for one day, for one week, he surprised me with dinner out at my favorite sushi restaurant.  We brought the kids, they behaved themselves like they were under some magic spell, and we ate sushi that never tasted so good.  He took care of everything the entire day.  He managed to get my daughter to sleep the best nap she's had in months, there were no meltdowns, no tantrums, no tears, the day was perfect.

He's been working so hard to try to get me happy again.  And I'll get there.  I just feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day.  It's a good movie, so it could be worse.  I could be stuck in Batman and Robin.  But I'm just in a little funk at the moment.  We all have them, maybe no one else writes about them like I'm doing now, but these things happen to everyone.  I'm no idiot.  I know what I have.  I have nothing to not be happy about (yes, that's a double negative but it's allowed here).  My children are incredible and I get to be with them every single day of my life.  When I'm old and grey and they don't want to be around me anymore I will be so thankful of these days.  My parents live close by and they love my children and my children love them.  And I have a husband who Thinks Of Me.

I think I'll be OK.

I know I'll be OK because I have a husband who will make sure that happens.  I have a husband who puts me and his children first.  I have a husband who, for some unknown reason thinks I am worthy of such behavior.

I know I'll be OK because I have a husband who Thinks Of Me.

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Now, I get to show him I'm thinking of him...

Like any man, my husband loves chocolate and all things sweet.  And he has really loved all the raw and vegan desserts I've been making lately.  He and I both are healthy eaters so I try to have homemade, healthy treats around the house for the whole family.  I usually have my raw PB Cookies, my Chocolate Brownie Cups and my Coconut Banana Muffins in the fridge at all times and they're all family favorites.  He and my son (and I) loved my Raw and Vegan Pumpkin Pie with Coconut Cream that I made during the holidays, he loved the Raw and Vegan Chocolate Banana Cream Pie I made for Valentine's Day, even though I wasn't too satisfied with the results...and neither was my son.  My five year old took a lick of the 'chocolate' filling and scrunched up his face and said, 'that doesn't taste like chocolate.'  He was right!  So ever since then I have been wanting to give the raw chocolate pie another go.  The last one tasted too much like bananas.  The texture was great, it was beautiful, but it didn't hold a candle to a 'normal' chocolate pie.

So considering my current state of slump-ness, I thought it was the perfect time to try to create something amazing.  Plus, I feel my husband deserves a special surprise of his own.  While my 2 year old daughter took a nap, I set off to the kitchen and began to play.  My counter tops looked like something out of Hoarders.  Everything I owned seemed to be bumping into one another up there.  But, the good news is that I have finally made a raw and vegan chocolate pie that is amazing.  Seriously, it's outstanding.  The filling alone can be made to be served as chocolate pudding at room temperature, but when you pair it with the crust and chill it until firm, you have a luscious, velvety and extremely satisfying chocolate dessert that contains only healthy and natural ingredients.  Nothing to feel bad about here!!!  And considering I am my worst critic, you will just have to believe me.  Or...wait for my husband to discover his surprise in the fridge and hear what he has to say.

It's true what they say about chocolate.  It certainly can lift a mood.

The five year old approves!!!

*Raw and Vegan Chocolate Pudding Pie
(makes 1 small 6 inch pie/tart (with a very thick crust!), but can easily be doubled if desired...you could even just double the filling part and keep the crust the same for a regular sized pie with a thinner crust)

For the Crust:
In the bowl of your food processor, combine the following...
-1 1/2 cups raw walnuts
-5 (large) medjool dates, pits removed
-2 TB dark, unsweetened cocoa powder (the better the quality, the better the taste)
-1 tsp kosher salt

Process until everything has broken down.  You will still see some flecks of nuts, but that's fine.  You just want it moistened and finely ground.

Press firmly into the bottom of a 6 1/2 inch wide and 3 inch tall spring-form tart/pie pan/shell, (this is a small size, feel free to double the recipe for a larger pie). Press evenly.  Set aside or refrigerate if you're doing this step ahead.

For the Filling:
In the same food processor bowl (no need to wash), combine the following...
-Just the white top cream from 1 can of full fat coconut milk (this happens at room temperature usually but you can place your can in the fridge overnight or for a couple hours if you aren't sure)
-1/4 cup raw cashew butter
-13 (large) medjool dates, pits removed (yes, that's 13...I know it's strange)
-2 TB dark, unsweetened cocoa powder
-1/2 tsp instant espresso powder
-1/4 tsp kosher salt
-splash of vanilla extract

Process until everything is silky smooth.  You don't want any bits of anything to be seen and this can take awhile.  But when it looks exactly like chocolate pudding, you're done.

Remember, you can just make this and eat it as pudding!

Spread this over your prepared crust and make sure it's smooth on top.

Now, this right here is the most crucial of all the steps.  You must now lick the spatula and if you're feeling friendly, find someone to help.

And when the spatula is clean...

Refrigerate the pie until firm, at least 4 hours, but overnight is preferred.  If you're desperate, you can place it in the freezer and check it after an hour.

Once it's completely firm, remove the sides of the tart shell and slice, with a sharp knife, into desired serving slices...or just pick a good man to share it with right on the couch with a couple of forks.

Misty Mourning

Today marks the day that I was going to reveal a secret that I have been keeping from you for a month.  The only problem is that now my secret is no longer valid.  My secret fell through and, truth be told, I'm a little bummed.  Worst things have happened, it's not the end of the world, it's a superficial and silly thing to be bummed about but we all have our moments, don't we?  My secret is (was) that I had been picked, last month, by my good friends at The Daily Meal, to go to Jamaica for a writing assignment.  I was to leave in 6 days.  I was going to be flown there, placed in the 'best place to stay', to eat at the 'best places to eat', and play at all the 'best places to play' for 5 days and then was to come home and write about it.  To be perfectly honest, I could have gotten a call saying that they were sending me to Wal-Mart and I would have been just as excited.  The Jamaica part was an outstanding bonus, don't get me wrong, but it was mainly the 'we're sending you somewhere...alone' part that really did it for me.  No, scratch that.  I don't even need to be sent somewhere alone to be happy.  I will happily sit in my own home, alone for 2 hours.  That would be a vacation to me.

Despite the strange feeling I had all along that it was too good to be true, I had been packing and planning for this trip since I found out about it.  My bedroom has been transformed into one giant suitcase, the kids were tripping over things, all the hangers we owned were being used for various outfits being displayed, changing daily...it's been a little crowded and chaotic here, to say the least.  A lot of work goes into being away from your home and work for any amount of time, and when you have young kids who rely on you for just about everything, it makes the going away even harder.  So I had been doing a ton of planning and rearranging to accommodate my absence.  And when I got the call yesterday that the trip had fallen through, I was pretty bummed.  I'm not angry, that would be silly.  I'm just...bummed.  There's no other word that describes it better.  The trip fell through for reasons outside of my, and The Daily Meal's control.  It isn't my fault, it isn't their fault.  It's just one of those things.  What's interesting is that I never really told anyone all month, outside of my immediate family.  It's like I was protecting myself from the beginning because some part of me knew it would never happen.

All this month I have been listening to a lot of reggae...Bob Marley, of course, and had pulled a lot of writing inspiration from his lyrics.  Since I have been to Jamaica once before, on my honeymoon, I was going to title my first Jamaica post, something along the lines of 'Redemption Song' because my husband and I did not have a good experience then and I was hoping that Jamaica would redeem itself this time.  I have notes, upon notes written about all the things I wanted to make sure I did while I was there, all the things I wanted to buy and bring home to my family.  I was getting excited to eat the food again, (because the food was our favorite part last time), specifically the most amazing breakfast we ate during our honeymoon:  Akee, Saltfish and Bamee, something that you simply cannot have here.  I was excited about a lot of things.

But you know what sounds kinda crazy?  I was most excited about simply doing something on my own.  I'm the mom of two amazing kids, with a hard working husband whose job takes him away, a few times throughout the year, to amazing places, and my job is to stay home with the kids.  It's what I have always wanted, I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I do a lot of things for my kids...at home.  I don't really get time to do things for just me, whether it be to work or relax, my kids are just always with me.  My sweet, adorable, amazing kids.  Any stay-at-home mom knows what I'm talking about.  So the fact that I was offered a chance to be independent for once made me very happy.  The idea was a little scary and a little exhilarating, two feelings that I don't encounter on a regular basis.  I mean, the highlight of my day can sometimes be that I got to pee alone.  This would have marked the first time that, once becoming a mother, I had achieved something all on my own, and I finally felt like a grown up.  Isn't that so strange?  Of course I'm a grown up, I have two children that I birthed, I'm 31 years old, I work hard...and yet I still feel left in the shadow of the people around me.

I look at my friends who, everyday, get dressed up, drop their kids off somewhere and drive to work and I think, now, that's a grown up.  I'm sure they look at what I do and wish they could trade places, we always want what we don't have, I understand that.  And I'm not saying one is harder than the other.  But, if they want to go get a cup of coffee somewhere in the middle of the day, they just go. If they need to make a doctor's appointment, they do it.  If they need something from the store, they just go get it.  If I have to go to the doctor, I have to either take my kids with me or find someone to watch them before I can even make the appointment.  If I need something from the store, there's no 'just running out and grabbing something', it's a complicated event that can take an hour.  I work out of my house so there are days that I don't see another adult, except for my husband, for days.  Being a stay-at-home mom, working or not, even though you're never alone, can be a very lonely job.  So, just the idea that I was going to be doing something on my own for once made me feel very grown up indeed. 

One of the biggest (and also the silliest) things that affected me about this trip not working out was the fact that I went out and bought new clothes for it.  I didn't need new clothes.  I have a ton of clothes.  My closet cannot hold the clothes that I already own.  But somehow I convinced myself that I needed Jamaica clothes.  So all last week, my kids and I went shopping for new things.  I got some amazing dresses that I paired with new accessories and even took pictures of me wearing them so I could look at the outfit and would know what to pack and wear while I was there.  It had been my project all week.  I haven't been shopping for myself in a very long time, because I'm so conservative about our money.  And it was a lot of fun to have an 'excuse' to do it.  But now all those new dresses are just taking up more room in my overcrowded closet, mocking me.  The outfit pictures are taking up memory on my phone, mocking me.  And all I can think about now is how silly it was for me to do it.  I could have bought more food for my family with that money, I could have been much more practical with that money, and instead I bought a bunch of dresses that now don't have a purpose.  That makes me feel silly. 

Yesterday I allowed myself to Mourn this loss.  I allowed myself a couple of Misty tears, however silly that may be.  I deserved to feel bummed about it, to acknowledge its presence and be a little sad about losing it.  But today, I'm flipping it around.  So now I'm not going to Jamaica?  That's OK!  I've been to Jamaica.  So I'm not getting on an airplane and flying somewhere by myself and staying in a fancy hotel next week?  That's OK!  I get to spend more time with my family.  So I don't get to wear all these new dresses in a fabulous, fancy resort?  That's OK!  I'll make up excuses to wear them here.  I'll roast my chicken tonight in one.  I'll wear another one to a meeting I have tomorrow morning.  I'll sleep in one.  Who cares?  So I won't be returning home with blonder hair and darker skin?  That's OK!  I have a yard.  This is the way it was supposed to happen.  I'm just not supposed to go anywhere next week and I'm OK with that now.

Am I lying?  OF COURSE.  But typing it out and repeating it over and over again will eventually make it true.

And there's always Bob and his lyrics.  Yes, there's always Bob.

Misty Mornin', don't see no sun;

I know you're out there somewhere having fun

Mysteries I just can't express;

How can you ever give your more to receive your less?

...I want you to straighten out my today, 

I want you to straighten out my tomorrow

On a Misty Morning, I want you to straighten out my tomorrow.

No new recipe this time, folks.  I was originally going to request that I shadow someone in Jamaica while they made Jerk Chicken and then make it at home, adapt it and post it for you all.  But instead I will link you to a recipe that seems to be fairly authentic.  I'll be back with something new soon, I promise.  I just have a lot of unpacking to do first.


*Jamaican Jerk Chicken, recipe courtesy of The Thirsty Traveler.

Dirty Dancing and Clean Eating

I know it's Spring because it's raining a lot.  I know it's Spring because everything is yellow.  I know it's Spring because my morning runs are spent with the supporting cast of Bambi.  I love Spring.  I like Fall better, but Spring will do.  Spring is my summer.  Because once Summer hits, I'm done with the heat and the pool and the beach and the sweat and the shorts and the sunscreen.  And if it weren't for the pollen and those damn dangling worms, I would be loving Spring a whole lot more. 

When you have young kids (and a hairy dog) and you're spending a lot of time outside this time of year, bringing them back inside is like a complicated dance number.  The clothes come off, the shoes come off, the hands get washed...maybe you're not crazy like I am but I have no desire to pollinate my furniture.  And those damn worms are relentless, sneaky, little velcro-footed creatures.  I try to save the life of every one I find (it's the almost Buddhist in me) but they make it very, very difficult.  I find them everyday in my ponytail, I find them on the kitchen counter, I find them in the bleach compartment of my washing machine...and this still happens even after the family is naked and cleansed after an outside adventure.  My husband and I are like a bunch of chimpanzees when we get back from a family walk, picking through everyone's hair looking for worms.

And yet the mild warmth of the days and the damp, cool that a Spring night brings, almost makes up for all of that, so I try to enjoy it as much as I can.  Still...my morning runs have become a lot more complicated since Spring has arrived.  Yes, I get to look at beautiful things while I'm running, like all the new flowers, green grass, Thumper...but not only are they now sneezy runs, they've also turned into somewhat of a clown routine.  You've probably all driven by someone running lately who, out of nowhere, in the middle of a stride, ducks down and leaps to the side, swatting at something before continuing on their jog.  You, the onlooker, don't see anything from your car, you just see what seems to be an insane person fighting an invisible ghost.  Yeah.  That's me.  I told you those worms are sneaky.  You think you're safe running in a straight line when all of a sudden, a tiny green worm is an inch in front of your eyes.  It's freaky!!  I've gotten used to it now and learned to just stay in the middle of the road.  Totally safe.

I run the same route every morning, although I reverse the order every day so I keep my muscles guessing.  And I always listen to music.  If it weren't for music on my outdoor runs and iPhone Netflix on the treadmill, I couldn't get through half the amount of exercise that I do.  The only problem with listening to music is that since I like to listen to Pandora radio and therefore cannot control what songs are playing, something incredibly un-run-worthy can pop up and throw off my game.  Like, a song that reminds me of my grandmother who passed away a couple years ago, or anything from 'Dirty Dancing' (oddly enough, anything from 'Dirty Dancing' also makes me think of my grandmother).  Have you ever tried to run really fast and cry at the same time?  It's like, really, really hard.  What about running really fast and crying and singing at the same time?  It's like, really, really, really hard.  (I'm singing because I can't listen to a song I know without singing to it, even if I don't like it, even if it's making me sad...It's a disease.)  And if a 'Dirty Dancing' song comes on, I can't help but think about the movie, and then while still trying to run really fast, cry, and sing, I'm now trying to keep from dancing the many, many Dirty Dance moves I memorized as a kid.  All of which are extremely difficult to do whilst running.  'Hey Baby' makes me want to find a log to dance on, 'Love is Strange' makes me wanna crawl on the floor, 'Hungry Eyes' makes me wanna move my hips like Baby and Penny.  (It also makes me hungry.)  And if the song happens to be '(I've Had) The Time of my Life' then I'm completely screwed.  Because I'm still running really fast, crying because I'm thinking of my grandmother, singing because I know all the words, dancing because I know all the steps, and I'm now thinking of how I have always wanted a dress like the one Jennifer Grey wore in that final number, how it twirled so beautifully when Patrick Swayze spun her around and how it draped so perfectly over his chiseled forearms when he lifted her up in the air.

Sheer perfection.

There are three things every girl wants in life. 

One:  Every girl wants long eyelashes. 

Two:  Every girl wants to fit into their pants. 

And Three:  Every girl wants to be lifted up in the air by Patrick Swayze. 

OK so maybe there are four things because every girl also wants to eat healthy, but equally delicious and satisfying things whenever possible, especially this time of year when we're coming up on bathing suit season.  And when I want healthy/delicious/satisfying food, I turn to the vegetable and then I twist it up a bit.  Spring is the perfect time of year to play around with vegetable dishes, and jazz up all that 'clean eating' everyone has been doing lately.  Turn those beautiful Spring peas into a custard, or the long stalks of asparagus into a delightful pizza and then the tough ends into a creamy soup, poach those pretty, pointy artichokes and serve with a curry dijon mayo, take those dark, green leaves of raw kale and make this incredible and extremely healthy kale salad, add buttery leeks to some homemade sweet potato gnocchi, use that fresh mint for a frozen Southside cocktail, or faux-roast beets in the microwave when you're just too damn tired to do it the right way.  Because, number Five would be that every girl needs a break.

So, while you're taking that break, give those lashes a good curl, eat more veggies so you can fit into your pants, and I'm available all week to rehearse the Patrick Swayze lift if anyone is interested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Roasted Spiced Carrots with Honey and Feta 
(This is one of my favorite vegetable side dishes.  I've posted it before, but that was back when nobody knew I was posting anything.  I could eat a very large bowl of this and be quite content.  I could make a meal out of this one dish.  The combination of flavors here are tremendous...the sweetness of the honey, the smokiness of the cumin, the salty-richness of the feta and the freshness of the parsley all beautifully compliment the subtle, sweet flavor of the roasted carrot.  Below is more of a method, not an exact recipe, and the serving size can change easily, so just use as many carrots as you want.  Leftovers are excellent!)

-Peel and slice your carrots, lengthwise into matchsticks (as if you were cutting them for crudite).  (And I would plan on at least 3 carrots per person, as they shrink down once cooked.)

-Place on an oiled cookie sheet. 

-Drizzle with more oil to lightly cover.  Season well with kosher salt and a few pinches of sugar.

-Place in a preheated 425 degree oven and roast for about 20 minutes.  Take the carrots out, shake the pan, flip them around a bit and place them back in if necessary.  You're looking for tender insides and golden brown outsides.

-Cool on the pan for about 10 minutes (or do this way ahead of time and keep them in the fridge til you're ready to assemble the dish).

-Once the carrots are at room temperature or just slightly warm, transfer them to a serving bowl and drizzle with a fair amount of a good quality honey, just enough to lightly coat each carrot and season with a good amount of ground cumin.  Toss until everything is coated and it appears that every carrot piece is glistening with honey and then tarnished just a bit with the cumin. 

-Break apart some good feta cheese* and add to the bowl, along with whole leaves of fresh parsley.  The bowl should be absolutely beautiful...that's how you know you've added enough cheese and parsley.

-Gingerly toss again and serve room temperature. 

(*Now ya'll know I don't ever tell you to go buy a specific ingredient for one of my recipes.  I don't believe in that.  But...this is may be my one exception.  The type of cheese in this dish makes a HUGE difference here.  It's such a simple recipe, with such few ingredients so the quality of each ingredient needs to be as good as it can be.  I've tried to make this with domestic feta, or even an different salty cheese altogether, and it just isn't the same.  My favorite feta, the only one I will use for this recipe, is the 'Pasture's of Eden' Israeli Sheep's Milk Feta from Trader Joe's.  It's the best that I have found for the price.)     

Do You Want To Know a Secret? Do You Promise Not To Tell?...

I've been on a health kick lately.  If you haven't noticed, I haven't posted a traditional dessert recipe in months.  I used to bake every week and we would always have something to nibble on in the sweet department.  But after the holidays came and went, I just got baked-out.  I also got really sick, over and over again, after the holidays and was trying to do everything I could to get healthy again so I guess that caused a pause in my baking.  I actually just looked back over my blog history and the last real dessert recipe I posted was for my Pineapple Carrot Cake I made for my son's 5th birthday...that was 4 1/2 months ago!  And even that one had whole wheat flour and a small fraction of the sugar in the 'usual' carrot cake.  Even for Valentines Day I didn't do a traditional dessert and instead made a Raw and Vegan Chocolate Pie to try to compete with the Raw and Vegan Pumpkin Pie with Coconut Cream I created over Thanksgiving (I'm not vegan).  So clearly, getting healthy was high on my priority list!!  Even still, with all the traditional baking that I used to do, I'm not one of those people who can't have sweets in the house because of temptation.  I don't like them that much to be tempted by them, as I'm more of a savory girl, but I'm married to a big sweet tooth and have young kids who take after their daddy.  So if I'm the one doing all the food buying and making for those sweet teeth, I'm gonna try to make sure the majority of the treats are actually healthy. 

So lately I've been making a lot of non-traditional goodies that are so healthy that they could be a breakfast, snack or dessert.  I make my Raw Cookies about once a week, my Fruit Gummy Snacks about as often, I make my Just Bananas Ice Cream when someone wants something cold and 'creamy', I've now made my new Gluten Free/Processed Sugar Free Coconut Banana Bread 4 times since I developed the recipe a couple weeks ago, and recently switched my focus onto making the kids a chocolate treat that I wouldn't feel guilty about serving them.  Which brings me to today's post. 

Back in February, when I was sick with my 2nd (or was it my 3rd?) sinus infection, walking pneumonia, and bronchitis, I hosted my mom's birthday dinner for the family.  For dessert I made homemade Cherry Garcia Ice Cream (her favorite) and two different flour-less chocolate cakes.  One was made the traditional way with butter and eggs, etc., and the other was made using a Secret, surprising ingredient that I was testing out.  I had everyone vote on which one they liked better and a lot of people voted for the Secret ingredient cake (myself included).  Since then I had forgotten about those little Secret cakes but recently dug into my notebook to find my scribbled recipe.  I saw that I still used a bit of butter, some eggs and some sugar in them back then so this time I wanted to test myself to see if I could make an even healthier version of those yummy, chocolate cakes.

Well, this week I did and I am so incredibly pleased with the results.  Only now they're not chocolate cakes, they're brownies!  When I took out that little bit of butter and eggs (and sugar) from my original recipe, I was left with a brownie-like texture that I happen to like a lot better than what I had before.  I made them in muffin tins so the portions are already done for you (perfect for kids!), but you could easily press the batter into a square brownie pan to slice them into squares if you wanted a more traditional looking brownie.  Either way you slice it, I'm so happy with these things!!  I actually feel the need to pat myself on the back, if you don't mind the narcissism.  I mean, I managed to make legitimately healthy brownies with NO FLOUR, NO ADDED SUGAR, NO EGGS, NO OIL OR BUTTER and they couldn't be easier to make.  So, they're wheat and gluten free, nut free if you happen to have allergies, and depending on the kind of chocolate you use, they could also be vegan. 

This is the part where I let you in on my little Secret.  Shhh, don't tell your resident picky eater, but the main ingredient in these Secret Chocolate Brownies is Chickpeas.  A.k.a. Garbanzo Beans.  A.k.a. The beans you use to make hummus.  Yep, those things.  They have a fairly neutral and wonderfully nutty and rich flavor, a creamy texture when you make it into hummus so...why not make it sweet instead of savory?  Why not, indeed. 

These brownies are absolutely delicious!!  Even Mr. Sweet Tooth himself loved them.  And when I gave them to my kids for dessert after dinner that first night, watching them gobble them up with giddy laughter, a Secret smile formed across my face.

Shhhh....

*Abbey's Secret (Healthy) Chocolate Brownie Cups
(yields 12 cupcake sized (2 oz) brownies)

Before we melt it, we must first speak a few words on chocolate...
I'm using semi-sweet chocolate chips because 1.) They're super easy to find at any grocery store and 2.) They have the right amount of sweetness, without adding any extra sugar, for my particular taste.  And the better quality chocolate chip you use, the better and the less likely it will be packed with preservatives and unnecessary fats and sugars.  Obviously, the higher the percentage of cocoa in your chocolate product, the healthier it will be, but also the less sweet it will be.  If you want to use a darker (more cocoa) chocolate product for health reasons, go for it!  But you may wish to add a sweetener to the 'batter' before baking.  I would recommend some agave nectar, a bit at a time, until you like the taste.  This recipe is just sweet enough for me, so I don't need to add any sugar, etc. but you may like things a lot sweeter than me so TASTE IT BEFORE BAKING IT and make it your own.

Now onto the recipe.

First we melt the chocolate...
-Place 1 3/4 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips (you will need a total of 2 cups) into a microwavable, glass bowl and microwave for about 2 minutes, stirring in between, until when you stir it with a spatula, it melts completely.  Stir in your remaining 1/4 cup of chips to ensure that you haven't heated the cocoa butter too quickly (the added chips will melt into the already melted chocolate once you stir it in and will also fix any possible overheating you may have done in the microwave.  Yes, you can use a double boiler but this is my easy method.)

In the bowl of your food processor, add the following before or while you're melting your chocolate...
-2 (15 oz) cans of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
-1/2 tsp baking powder
-1 tsp or a good splash of vanilla extract
-2 tsp of espresso powder
-rounded 1/2 tsp kosher salt (or up to 3/4 tsp, depending on if you wish to add a sweetener to the mix later)

Add your melted chocolate to the other ingredients in the food processor and puree it all together until very smooth.  This may take several minutes of stopping and scraping down to ensure a smooth texture.  You really want to make sure you aren't left with a very grainy 'batter'.

Once your mixture is completely smooth, use a medium sized (1/4 cup/2 oz), greased ice cream scoop to easily and exactly add some batter into the greased cups of a standard sized muffin tin.  I get exactly 12 brownies this way.  And you must, you must, you must, lick the spatula...and the bowl.  (Remember, no raw eggs in here!)

With wet fingers, press down to flatten out the batter in each cup.  These won't puff up after baking, so the way they look going in is pretty much how they'll look coming out. 

Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven, 15 minutes for a fudgey brownie with a slightly gooey center or about 18-20 minutes for a more cakey, crumbly brownie.  (I've done them both, and they're delicious either way.)  They will continue to firm as they cool so it's OK if they seem a bit too loose...and there is nothing scary in the mix so no worries about under-cooking anything you're not supposed to!)

Allow to cool in the muffin tins until they're only warm.  This helps them firm up instead of falling apart if you were to try to move them when they're to hot. 

ignore the bad manicure, but take a look at that fudgey brownie!!! 

Serve warm or room temperature, or cool completely on a rack and store in an airtight container on the counter for a couple days or in the fridge for about a week (but I seriously doubt they will last that long!)

Yum!!!!!

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For a more decadent version of these healthy Brownie Cups, try this...
-Before baking, press a Hershey's kiss or small piece of chocolate into the center of each and cover it up with your fingers.  Bake as usual but be sure to serve very warm.

Now you've got a molten chocolate brownie cup!! 

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OK, so I don't usually give nutritional information with my recipes because that's not how I cook (or eat) but I thought this would be fun to share the difference in my brownies versus a standard brownie made from a mix (mainly because I'm just excited about it).  A calorie is a calorie and a fat gram is a fat gram, BUT what your body does with those calories and fat grams makes a world of difference.  The calories and fat you're ingesting from a traditional brownie recipe is coming from white sugar, white flour, vegetable oil, etc., which doesn't really do your body any good and the calories and fat you're ingesting from my healthy brownies is coming mostly from beans, a healthy, natural source of fuel.  I don't know about you, but if my mouth thinks it's eating a brownie anyway, then why not make those calories count?  Um...Brownies for breakfast, anyone? :-)

               Standard Brownie (2oz)                                       My Healthy Brownies (2 oz)

               Calories............320                                          Calories...............250

               Fat....................17 g                                       Fat.......................<12g

               Protein..............4g                                           Protein................6+g

               Fiber.................0g                                           Fiber...................3.5g

Slow Cooked Caramelized Onions, and an apology to an appliance.

I am not a slow cooker person.  I have one and I've used it, but I just haven't fallen in love with it like I know a lot of people have.  There are people out there who swear by their slow cooker, their 'crock pot', there are blogs on top of blogs dedicated, exclusively, to slow cooker meals, and there are a lot of people that use them for most, if not all, of their meals.  That's awesome.  Good for them.  Seriously.  If someone is cooking their family dinner every night, instead of going through a drive thru or reheating a frozen, plastic-sealed dinner, then I don't care how they do it.  The slow cooker is an amazing invention that has helped out a lot of families over the years.  I just happen to believe that most things I've tried to make in mine have come out kinda...mushy. 

But recently I changed the way I looked at my slow cooker.  I decided that maybe I don't like my meals cooked in a slow cooker, but I could still use it to make things that are supposed to be soft, things that I normally would have to nurse and stir and watch, and instead allow the slow cooker to do all the work for me.

Since this new outlook, I've made the most amazing grits in my slow cooker.  I use the Quick Grits (a product I genuinely believe in, as a Southern girl. Although, I do not believe in following the package instructions for a 'quick grit' because, as a Southern girl, I genuinely believe there is no such things as a 'quick grit'.)  I use the measurements listed on the package as my guide and throw the grits, water, salt, and butter all in.  I turn it on low and usually in about 4 hours have amazingly creamy grits.  If I want to cook them all day or overnight, I just add double the water and they will be even creamier.  I do these grits when I'm making my Short Ribs or Pot Roast for dinner and then as the meal is cooking in the oven, the grits can now be doing the same in the slow cooker.  For my pot roast or short ribs, etc. I serve sour cream grits underneath so I just stir in the sour cream after the grits are cooked, right before I'm ready to serve.  This has really helped me out.  (If you're a polenta person, the same method applies...)

I also think using the slow cooker to make stocks is an OK thing to do...just add your bones, veg, seasoning, water, etc. and cook it low and slow for as long as you can and when it tastes good, it's done... 

The slow cooker is a great tool to use to keep things like soups warm, hot chocolate, cider, things of that nature...

I would imagine it could make a decent casserole as well, since casseroles are usually on the mushy side anyway...

So yes, there are plenty of good things the slow cooker can do, and once I figured out how I preferred it to work for me, I've gotten along a lot easier with mine. 

But the most recent use I've found for my slow cooker has been to caramelize onions.  I love an onion caramelized.  It happens to be my most favorite way to eat the onion.  And I have figured out a way to put caramelized onions on just about anything...burgers, more burgers, steaks, pork tenderloin, pizzas, pizzas, and more pizzas, and who could forget the ultimate use for the caramelized onion:  The French Onion Soup.  I could eat a bowl of caramelized onions for lunch and be happy.  (Is that weird? Probably.)  But the other day when I had a lunch to cater, being crazed with 99 other things on my plate, I thought that I would use my slow cooker to cook my onions for the Beefy French Dip Melts I was serving.  The night before, I put my ingredients into the slow cooker and the next morning woke up to the house smelling amazing and my onions being perfectly caramelized!!  And the best part?  I didn't stir a thing, didn't watch a thing, I just dumped and left.  Awesome!!  I now understand this very popular appliance and vow to now dust it off more often.  

Now will you excuse me while I apologize to my crock pot.

*Slow Cooker-ed Caramelized Onions

(This isn't an exact recipe, so adjust the measurements to fit whatever you need them for.  And caramelized onions can keep for up to a week, stored airtight in the fridge.)

-Slice your onions and throw them in the slow cooker, season well with salt, pepper, a bit of brown sugar and a pinch of allspice.  (I always add sugar to my onions because I like how it plays up the natural sweetness of an onion, and I just love the flavor that allspice brings to them.  But you can omit both if you'd rather.)

-Add some olive oil and/or butter for both flavor and as an anti-sticking agent.

-Add a good splash of wine, (no more than 1/2 cup) white is what I usually use but red could work depending on what you're using them for.  You could also use stock, or even water if you'd rather, just a little bit of liquid to ensure that your onions don't burn.

-Set the slow cooker to low and cook for 8-10 hours.  They will likely be done in less time, but as long as you added some fat and some liquid, they won't be in any danger cooking for longer.  

April 19-25 Mealplan

It's looking a lot more like Spring around here!  And I'm even starting to see some very early summer crops popping up here and there, it's so exciting!!  So...I decided to share this week's mealplan.  If you're unfamiliar to my method, you can check out the bullet points on my money saving tips page HERE, but below is a quick rundown on how I operate-

I shop once a week, with cash.  I spend $100 per week (for my family of 4), sometimes less but rarely more and only use the cash I have budgeted out for groceries (not only on food, but all toiletries, cleaning supplies, paper products, beverages, etc.).  I buy what's on special, local, freshest, etc. and stock up on any freezable items or pantry staples to last me until the next big sale.  I also use coupons if they apply.  (When I can, I also shop locally at Farmers Markets, etc.)  I then come home and plan my meals for that week depending on what I just purchased and what I already have in my well-stocked pantry and freezer.  Then I write out my mealplan for my family on a board in the kitchen (sometimes share it online if I have the time) and stick to it.  I don't go back to the store for any other ingredients, I use only what I have just purchased or already have.  This keeps our grocery budget low and allows for me to be creative with my meals.  I often have to improvise and therefore come up with something entirely different and unique...which is where the majority of my posted recipes come from! 

I don't believe in following recipes (not even my own!), I believe in using them for inspiration, as a guideline, and then filling in the blanks with what you have lying around.  This makes cooking more fun, gives your wallet a break, and keeps you from multiple, time consuming trips to the grocery store.  This is my method, I'm not saying it's the best one, but it has worked for my family for 5 years and if you are in need of some structure in your kitchen, then I highly recommend it!  If you have any questions about this, always feel free to leave me a comment and I will get back to you as soon as I can. 

Have a wonderful weekend!  And here's the plan-

*Grilled Head-On Local Shrimp tossed in Fresh Parsley and Lemon, over a Barley Salad with Israeli Feta, Grape Tomatoes, Basil and Early Corn

*Cod Fish Tacos with Lime Crema, Sliced Avocados and a Spicy Mango Salsa

*Bourbon Barbecued Baby Back Ribs with Charred Corn on the Cob and Raw Kale Salad

*Horseradish and Parsley Crusted Pork Tenderloin, Cremini Mushrooms and Onions, and Roasted Lemony Green Beans with Grape Tomatoes

*Rosemary-Orange Marmalade Glazed Split Chicken Breasts with Caramelized Sweet Potatoes, Shriveled Baby Tomatoes and Crispy Asparagus

*Fresh Fettuccini with a Roasted Grape Tomato Sauce and Tossed Green Salad with Soft Poached Egg, Parsley and Green Beans

*Thai Beef Curry with Bell Peppers and Snow Peas over Coconut-Cilantro Brown Rice